System Upgrade

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UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND 

 Dear IT Support, 
 
 Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow 
 down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and 
 jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. 
 
 In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such 
 as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable 
 programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. 
 
 And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply 
 crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, 
 but to no avail. 
 
 What can I do? 
 
 Signed, 
 Desperate Housewife 
 
> Reply: 
 Dear Desperate Housewife, 
 
 First keep in mind: 
 Boy friend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an 
 operating system. 
 
 Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download 
 Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. 
 
 If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the 
 applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 
 
 But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 
 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. 
 
 Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav 
 files. 
 
 Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another 
 Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash 
 Husband 1.0. 
 
 In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited 
 memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. 
 
 You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. 
 I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9. 
 
 Good Luck, 
 IT Support